Sticks and stones may break my bones

but words will never hurt me…hmmmmmm.  Nothing, in my mind, could be farther from the truth.  Words hurt…words cause people to hurt themselves physically.  Words are nothing, but words…sometimes I think it would hurt less if someone just punched me.  Honestly, we let people’s words, especially negative words, define who we are.  But who are we in our Father’s eyes??  Psalm 139:14-16 says I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,  16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.  We are God’s masterpieces, we may not physically see how beautiful we are, but to God, we ARE beautiful!!  Don’t let people’s words hurt you anymore, God loves you so much and He has great plans for your life and He thinks YOU are BEAUTIFUL…doesn’t really matter what anybody else thinks.


At The Movies

If you aren’t familiar with At The Movies, it’s a series that does every summer.  Pastor Craig pulls some awesome biblical messages out of great movies like The Bucket List, We Are Marshall, Fireproof and even Nacho Libre.  This past week’s movie was Fireproof and all about marriage and that who you are without God is NOT WHO YOU ARE MEANT TO BE!  It got me thinking about some other relationships (marriage relationship is awesome).  Like my relationship with my parents and my friends.  I really have lost touch with some friends that I wish I hadn’t lost touch with.  I don’t talk to my dad like I did when I was younger and I miss that.  So what relationship do YOU need to work on and what is YOUR next step to fixing that relationship?

Trying to heal the wounds of my past

Why can’t I get over the things that God has already forgiven me for?  I really don’t know, if I knew…I’d be over them already.

Wow!  I started writing this in February and my goodness how things have changed.  I have definitely changed my thinking…I am no longer that person…I am a new creation…that means I get to start all over!!  Thank You Jesus!!

Wow, where have I been???

So much has happened since April…my girls first real season of baseball has ended.  Amaya played tee-ball and didn’t seem to enjoy much until we got to her last game and then she decided to bring out the the big bats and actually tried to stop a ball instead of watching it roll by her.  Hayley played baseball and did really well in practice, but game time was a whole nother story, but she still wants to play next year so she must have had some kind of fun.  LJ will be 1 in a couple weeks and is already walking.  Of course he had to be different and start walking before he turned 1.  His sisters waited until they were about 14 months old to start walking.  Lance found an awesome job that he starts on Monday.  I had my gallbladder removed and am still trying to recover.  I have a hard time admitting that it’s still a little painful to do the things I know I need to do, so I just do those things anyway and deal with the pain.  I watched the movie ‘Fireproof’ for the second time tonight and even though Lance and I’s relationship is pretty good, I still see room for improvement.  I think the biggest thing that hit me from the movie is that God loves us even though we don’t deserve His love, but He loves us anyway.  Even when we’ve pushed Him away and spat in His face, He still loves us.   I feel so incredibly loved and so undeserving at the same time.

Set Me Free

Do you remember the person you were before you met Jesus and accepted Him as your Savior?  Do you remember all the things you did that you thought no one could forgive you of?  Well I know Jesus forgives ALLLLLL of our sins, but we also need to forgive ourselves and get past the guilt and shame.  Set yourself free of your past.  I know just how hard this is because I, myself, am in the process of doing the same thing.  I did a lot of things I’m not proud of, but the past is the past and you can’t undo it.  It helps us form who we are, sure we’d love to go back and change some things, but in the end you’d change as a person.  I kind of like the person I am now, wish I was a little bit more confident, but overall I feel I’m a pretty good person.  I don’t know that I could say that if I hadn’t gone through some of the things that I went through.  I’m sure, in time, that God will show me how these things are going to be or were used for His glory. 

Now I’m not going to get into all the things that I did, because people will read this and use those things to hang over my head.  The guilt and the shame are the chains that are holding me down and every once in a while Satan will get ahold of this information and use it to bring me down even further.  All I know is that I WANT TO BE FREE!!!  Free from the guilt and free from the shame and embarassment…I will get there one day with God’s help and the help of a few of my friends.  Does anybody else want to be free of their shameful past???  Am I alone here??

Paid In Full

I found this poem a while ago…it’s a nice reminder of what God has done for us all.
After living what I felt was a “decent” life, my time on earth came to the end.
The first thing I remember is sitting on a bench in the waiting
room of what I thought to be a court house.

The doors opened and I was instructed to come in and have a seat
by the defense table.

As I looked around I saw the “prosecutor.”

He was a villainous looking gent who snarled as he stared at me.

He definitely was the most evil person I have ever seen.

I sat down and looked to my left and there sat My Attorney,
a kind and gentle looking man whose appearance seemed so familiar to me, I felt I knew Him.

The corner door flew open and there appeared the Judge in full flowing robes.

He commanded an awesome presence as He moved across the room I
couldn’t take my eyes off of Him.

As He took His seat behind the bench, He said, “Let us begin.”

The prosecutor rose and said,

“My name is Satan and I am here to show you why this woman belongs in hell.”

He proceeded to tell of lies that I told, things that I stole,
and In the past when I cheated others Satan told of other horrible
Perversions that were once in my life and the more he spoke, the further
down in my seat I sank.

I was so embarrassed that I couldn’t look at anyone, even my own
Attorney, as the Devil told of sins that even I had completely forgotten about.

As upset as I was at Satan for telling all these things about me, I was equally upset at My Attorney who sat there silently not
Offering any form of defense at all.

I know I had been guilty of those things, but I had done some good in my life – couldn’t that at least equal out part of the harm I’d done?

Satan finished with a fury and said, “This woman belongs in hell,
she is guilty of all that I have charged and there is not a person who can prove otherwise.”

When it was His turn, My Attorney first asked if He might approach the bench.

The Judge allowed this over the strong objection of Satan, and beckoned Him to come forward.

As He got up and started walking, I was able to see Him in His full splendor and majesty.

I realized why He seemed so familiar; this was Jesus representing me, my Lord and my Savior.

He stopped at the bench and softly said to the Judge, “Hi, Dad,” and then He turned to address the court.

“Satan was correct in saying that this woman had sinned,
I won’t deny any of these allegations.

And, yes, the wage of sin is death, and this woman deserves to be
Jesus took a deep breath and turned to His Father with
outstretched arms and proclaimed, “However, I died on the cross so
that this person might have eternal life and she has accepted Me as her
Savior, so she is Mine.”

My Lord continued with, “Her name is written in the Book of Life,
and no one can snatch her from Me.

Satan still does not understand yet.
This woman is not to be given justice, but rather mercy.”

As Jesus sat down,

He quietly paused, looked at His Father and said,
“There is nothing else that needs to be done.”

“I’ve done it all.”

The Judge lifted His mighty hand and slammed the gavel down.
The following words bellowed from His lips..

“This woman is free.”

The penalty for her has already been paid in full.

“Case dismissed.”

As my Lord led me away, I could hear Satan ranting and raving,
“I won’t give up, I will win the next one.” I asked Jesus as He gave
me my instructions where to go next, “Have you ever lost a case?”

Christ lovingly smiled and said,

“Everyone that has come to Me and asked Me to represent them
has received the same verdict as you,

~Paid In Full~

This Christmas

I am seriously missing my family and friends this Christmas.  Especially my dad.  I can’t explain it and as happy as this time of year should be, I feel a little sad.  I wish it was Christmas Day already so I can see my girls’ excited faces and cheer me up some.  I’m hiding the fact that I am sad, but maybe not so well.

The Christmas Shoes

The Christmas Shoes lyrics

It was almost Christmas time, there I stood in another line

Tryin’ to buy that last gift or two, not really in the Christmas mood

Standing right in front of me was a little boy waiting anxiously

Pacing ’round like little boys do

And in his hands he held a pair of shoes


His clothes were worn and old, he was dirty from head to toe

And when it came his time to pay

I couldn’t believe what I heard him say



Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please

It’s Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size

Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there’s not much time

You see she’s been sick for quite a while

And I know these shoes would make her smile

And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight


He counted pennies for what seemed like years

Then the cashier said, “Son, there’s not enough here”

He searched his pockets frantically

Then he turned and he looked at me

He said Mama made Christmas good at our house

Though most years she just did without

Tell me Sir, what am I going to do,

Somehow I’ve got to buy her these Christmas shoes


So I laid the money down, I just had to help him out

I’ll never forget the look on his face when he said

Mama’s gonna look so great


Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please

It’s Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size

Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there’s not much time

You see she’s been sick for quite a while

And I know these shoes would make her smile

And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight



I knew I’d caught a glimpse of heaven’s love

As he thanked me and ran out

I knew that God had sent that little boy

To remind me just what Christmas is all about


Repeat Chorus


I LOVE this song.  I think it captures a lot of what the Christmas season SHOULD be about.  Instead of worrying about how many THINGS you can buy your kids, think about helping out a family who would otherwise have nothing under their tree.  There are many who do not even have a tree, or food, or clothing that we could help instead of filling our houses up with things that we can’t even take to Heaven with us.  Let’s not forget about the true meaning of Christmas, especially with so many families struggling to get by this year.  Merry Christmas.

Growing up in Blaine, WA

So I grew up in this little town called Blaine, WA.  It’s in the very northwest corner of the state.  It’s the last town you hit before crossing the border into Canada.  Anyway, I moved there when I was pretty young.  I started kindergarten there I think about a year or so after we moved there.  Before I started kindergarten we moved onto 11th Street.  Our house was right across the street from the high school and middle school.  It made getting ready for school in the morning pretty easy.  I could wake up at 7:30 and get ready and still be to school way before anybody else.  The thing I loved about living in Blaine was that EVERYBODY knew EVERYBODY.  I know my sister hated it because Mom usually knew if she had done something wrong before Mom even got home from work.  I miss living in a little tiny town, but at the same time I like not having to drive 20 miles to get the stuff we need.  Most of my family also lived in Blaine, most of them have moved away, but my grandma and aunt and uncle still live there in the same houses that they lived in when I was there.  From the pictures I’ve seen A LOT has changed, but I think a lot has stayed the same too.

What I’m Thankful For…

I’m thankful

1) that I have a relationship with God.

2) for my loving family.

3) that we have a roof over our head and food to eat and clean water to drink.

4) that we live in a country where we can worship our God without fear of death.

5) that we have health insurance and access to great medical care.

6) that I’m still alive.

7) that I have a Bible and that I can read that Bible anytime I want or need to.

I’m sure there are many more things that I’m thankful for, but these are the ones that have come to my mind at this time.  What are you thankful for??